Just Say No….

I’ve been MIA from here for a while.  Been going through some stuff personally and it’s made me think.

When I got diagnosed with cancer back in April 2017, my doctors told me,  this is going to take 6 months of your life and then you will be back to normal.  Sorry doc but that is not how this has seemed to work unfortunately! Yes, the treatment only took 6 months of my life but the ongoing effects from cancer and treatment have taken far far more than that.  We are 2.5 years from diagnosis and I am still dealing with the after effects that the diagnosis brought with it.

First off it tried to take my body but I said NO.   Chemo and radiation. It knocked me down but I got back stronger than ever. (My recent 32kg Turkish Get Up in Nikafit will attest to that :-D)

Then it tried to take my mind, but I said NO.  As you will know from reading the blog, the mental side effects of cancer knocked me for six but I dealt with that by going to a counsellor and talking about it to basically anyone that would listen!  And then trying to spread the word as much as I could so that other people were forewarned of this side of cancer, and also, so people knew they were not alone, like I thought I was.

And now, just when I thought I had defeated this wretched disease from all angels, it came and tried to take my relationship, but I said NO!  Cancer did not just happen to me, it happened to Jonny as well and when you are dealing with something like this, everything else can go by the wayside and because the main priority at the time is to get better – get through each day – survive, basically, everything else gets put on the back burner.  Like your relationship. I felt so angry at cancer for putting us in this position. For potentially costing me something so dear to me. But then we realised that we are in control of this situation and even though cancer may have gotten us here, to this point, we can get ourselves out of it. We have the power, not cancer!

Again this is just cancer being a dick and just when I thought that we had put it all to bed then it finds another way to mess with us. This weekend I lost a friend I had met through GCS.  Jade was a warrior on another level and if my friendship with her thought me anything over the last 8 months is that no matter what life throws at you, you need to stand up and make the best of it.  Of course, like anyone in all situations, you will have your tough days but what we need to focus on now is what we have. Not what we don’t have. I am so grateful to be sitting here writing this piece for you guys to read.  I am so grateful that I am one of the lucky ones that gets to stand up and say to Cancer…NO…..Not Today. No matter how this disease tries to fuck with me, I know myself that I am strong enough to push back ?